Saturday, December 15, 2007

Dearest Friend,

I got this package when I returned home after a two-day nightmare trip of me trying to make peace with my mate. When I returned home, the pink slip was waiting for me, saying I had a package. I knew who it was from. I went directly to the post office and picked it up.

I couldn’t wait until I got home to open the package, so I opened it in the car, and when I begin to feel the love and joy of it --- I put it back in the box to wait until I got home so I could lay it out on the bed.

When I did, heaven opened up to me. I quickly unwrapped the offering, like a child at their first Christmas. I didn’t even know I had lost the white envelope with the book money, which had slid under the bed, until I just now finished reading the book. Of everything, it seemed to be least important to me. But I am moving too far ahead … let me go back to the beginning.

The rich brown ribbons, tied lovingly around the rich aqua-blue paper --- trudged at my heart, and I wanted to touch everything at once. But I made myself wait ---

I kissed the Magnolia leaf to my lips and pressed it to my heart. I can’t say the order in which you placed your love, but I will tell you the order in which I accepted them ---

I gently opened the longest package, and the branch and the ring revealed it self. I touched the branch to my lips, rolled it on my flesh, kissed it with my heart, I did the same to the ring, and placed it on the little finger on my left hand, kissed it to my lips --- gave thanks for the love that flowed into my very soul --- and I knew, yes I knew – I cried into the sliver ropes that held the crystal pyramids, and my heart ached at such love, at such beauty --- and I thought the tears would not stop flowing.

My nose followed the smell of the candles --- each wrapped in complementing tissue paper --- and I smelled my life filled with joy and love and appreciation for all that God had blessed me with --- when you came my way. And I thought, yes, I gave thanks to my dear beloved mother for teaching me how to love --- and I wrapped the smells of the candles, one at a time, inside my senses and I let the water flow – and my heart was still hungry, for it knew that more was to come.

Then carefully, and I don’t know how my hands found the order of things, but I picked up the two Wicks n More boxes, and the Cinnamon and Clove took me home and I could see my sweet mother baking on Christmas and waving us in to dinner --- and to give us our precious homemade gift --- which I appreciate more now than I did as a child. Oh, the bittersweet pains made me come alive --- for indeed I have been feeling so dead of late --- and I felt alive for the first time in a long time.
My hands touched the little blue box and it had Avon written on it, but something inside my mind told me there was something more special in it … and I carefully opened it, as I didn’t want to damage the box.

Oh my goodness, I wept at the sight of such love and beauty --- the crystals, you seem to picked my life apart, and healed my pains by taking me back to the pyramid of love, where sisterhood being, and the beauty and value of life was found within …. the heart of women. And I wept some more, as I be so hungry for love, and have felt that I have not had it, and it had never been shown in such a way --- and now, as I hold each one of these offering and rubbing them on my face, touching them with my lips and my heart – I send my blessing to you, I send my love to you --- and yes, I love you to the bones.

And then, yes dear Suzanne, the mirror was not the last thing I touched, but I didn’t quite know its meaning until I read, without stopping, “The secret Life of Bees”. I read the story without stopping, I could not put it down --- I didn’t cry as I read it, but when I picked up the mirror, I could not hold back the tears --- as I was living what she had written and I was living it with you --- such love, how can I give thanks for such love. The mirror open a flood gate to my heart, and all the things I write about, all the things I have been trying to get someone to see – this me --- and here you are, not only seeing me, but showing me that you see me in a way that none can deny. Here I am looking into your eyes – looking at your face, and it not white, it not brown, it just you --- it’s just us --- Mississippi.

Oh beloved one, I can’t stop the tears – and I must end this email, for I am in such joy and bittersweet sadness, that I have no words to explain what I think you already know. If I died right now, I would be happy, because I know I am loved –I know someone cares --- I feel it I see it I hear it I know it --- and to know this make me care about myself in a way I have not done before. For I have never put myself first, nor loved or appreciated myself. I was taught to love other, never to love me --- now you have taught me to love me --- and that it is not wrong to love me.

Know this, in each character in this book I see us both and I don’t know where you would end and I would begin --- I humbly say thank you. Thank you. Thank you. My heart is overwhelmed …..

When I contain myself, I shall go and purchase a shadow box, and I shall preserved this moment, as she shall become the symbol of Our Lady of the Chains, indeed you have set me free --- yes, you are more than Mississippi to me.

I will write more soon, as I am overwhelmed with such love, and I shall have to sleep for a moment ---

To ask for nothing, and give everything ---Much and always --- Yes, this is the best closing and I am thankful for it.

Much love, respect and honor
Your beloved sister,

Amias